Church-The Broken Family
In a time when the term "family" has lost almost all sense of it's true meaning, it is no extreme surprise that it has lost some of it's most important elements it terms of the Church family. For some, the physical aspects of family remain as they were designed: Man, Woman, Children. For others it has become something of a more liberal view, that as long as the emotion of love is there, the family set up is of no importance. And yet for others the term family has no real meaning or value. But despite which view one might take, all would agree that there is great brokeness in the families of this generation. This is true even in the heavenly family here on this mortal dwelling earth. Some might view the family of God as being a spiritual representation of a physical family. Others might view it as a building. While some may treat it as low as a club, with memberships and all. But if each were to take a moment in scripture, it would be easily found that the Church was and is viewed by the Lord as His family. It would seem though, that just as the physical families of today are plagued with so many problems, so is the Church. But for each family there is always a lineage and heritage for which each individual can learn lessons of what to do and what not to do. This is also true in the family of God.
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, Hebrews 12:1a
With that said let us learn from the heart and pursuit of our early Church "ancestry."
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Now depending on your views of when or where the Church actually began, you might find it interesting that I am starting us in Genesis. But it seems the logical place to "begin."
So he sent his brethren away, and they departed: and he said unto them, See that ye fall not out by the way. Genesis 45:24
This of course is Joseph speaking to his brothers upon his sending them back to his father to proclaim his where abouts and the fact that he still lived. Odd it may seem that I am bringing up such a verse, but in light of the fact that the life of Christ is seen so much in Jospeh, there is something to learn from this. In the Gospels we find that Christ no longer refered to His disciples as servants but rather brothers. Then He commands His "brothers" to love one another. Romans 12:9 commands that that love be without dissimulation. In other words undissembled. It is to be a unified love with no room for quarrels or strife. When Joseph commanded his brothers to go and "fall not out by the way," he was admonishing them to keep guard that they do not quarrel in their journey together, for in doing so they would become undissembled and the task incomplete. This is the same reason Christ commands that we love one another as brothers, with a unified love. Just as Joseph gave his brethren the task to proclaim that he in fact was still alive, so Christ commands His brethren to do the same and proclaim His life! That is why we are commanded to love and not quarrel, for in such love the family of God can accomplish much!
Love does not dominate; it cultivates. Johann Wolfgang Goethe
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But with every family and with every loved one, there also comes those times when we must learn forbearance. Not every one we meet is going to seem like an angel. And even those who do, are not always easy to forbear! The interesting thing is, when it comes to family, no matter how one might view them, they are still family. For instance, if I had a cousin I couldn't stand being around I could take one of two options for our relationship.
1) shun him and disown him as family
Or
2) forbear with the things that he does that drive me up the wall and still love him as family
Either option, family is always family no matter what I choose. But let's once again look at an example in scripture I think we can glean off of. This time though, I won't take us as far back in the old testiment.
But ten men were found among them that said unto Ishmael, Slay us not: for we have treasures in the field, of wheat, and of barley, and of oil, and of honey. So he forbare, and slew them not among their brethren.
Jeremiah 41:8
Obscure passage you might believe, and may not even recognize. Prior to verse five, we find that this man Ishmael was a wicked man. He led a team of men on a mission to slay all the Jews. But in this passage it says that he forbear with these ten men and slew them not. For what purpose? Because from these men he saw something he could gain from them if they were to live. Had he killed them, he would have then had to take care of the crops himself. Now how does this apply to a family forbearing with one another? Simply this. If the most wicked of men was able to find within himself the ability to forbear, because he saw something good in those he hated; how much more should the righteous forbear with those who are called brothers? For if the brother be found a child of God, washed by the shed blood of Christ, should not that be enough to forbear? No matter what be the cause or need to forbear.
Our Lord has many weak children in his family, many dull pupils in his school, many raw soldiers in his army, many lame sheep in his flock. Yet he bears with them all, and casts none away. Happy is that Christian who has learned to do likewise with his brethren. J.C. Ryle
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How amazing it is to see the Church family in Acts; how they lived, fellowshipped and worked in unity. Frankly, the book of Acts gives the present day Church something to be ashamed of, that is; our own present state. Of all the "hard to follow" examples given to us by scripture, the layout of the early Church seems to be the most unreachable example of them all. Where does one find a single group, made up of thousands of people, who live in unity with one common purpose, without there being fear of rules or punishment? The closest we could come to finding such would be perhaps the Amish. But even they have divisions of beliefs, fear of rules, and at the present moment the Truth is causing great shaking in the falsehoods of thier traditions.
Within every known religous viewpoint, there is always found to be different sects and branches of it. Even within those offshoots there are found many differences which usually cause a breaking away at some point. Only in the account of the early Church, as clearly shown in Acts 2 and 4, do we see a unified people, with a common purpose. Sadly enough, it didn't last long, as any reader of Paul's writings would see, divisions eventually arose within the early Church. Now with that said let's look at the layout of Acts 2. There is a point to be made of which I will attempt to make.
And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. And fear came upon every soul: and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles. And all that believed were together, and had all things common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need. And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved. Acts 2:42-47
If you are a believer who finds himself on Sunday fellowshipping with the saints in a home rather then a Traditional style building known as a church, Acts 2:42-47 will be a common verse to your ears. But although many home churches and traditional churches seek to have that same mindset as the early believers, I believe we fall short.
The early believers did not just become one in spirit, they became in essence one in life. All things they possessed became common, that all might be blessed and that all might be able to work as a unit. What the world may have viewed as merely a group of friends or deem as a religious fanatical group, they viewed each other as family. But this was the mindset Christ himself had towards his disciples.
But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
Matthew 12:48-50
How surprising would hat be to hear? Imagine visiting an Aunt or Uncle and instead of being welcomed in, you hear that they believe their family to be those who you view as nothing more then their friends. But Christ made it clear as day; His mother and His siblings were not His family due to physical blood. If you were of His family it was determined by wether you were of the Father in heaven and not if you shared the same DNA.
Our spiritual family is defined not by physical blood or government paper, it is defined by those who have been bought by the blood of Christ, and follow through with the will of God.
For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
Ephesians 3:14-15
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Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:13-16
Such passages seem to leave no room for solo-Christianity. It is as though we are called to be, as it were, transparent.
The dictionary (on the dashboard of my MacBook) defines transparent, in terms of a human attribute, as: having thoughts, feelings or motives that are easily perceived.
I believe such a state of mind is what all Christians are called to have towards God, and towards one another. The flip side to this would be to have a closed off mind, and keep things to ones own self. This, dear reader, is the mind of the western culture. All through scripture we read how man kind would come to a place where all did "that which was right in his own eyes." Such a state of mind was frowned above by the Lord. We were not created or called to work within our own selves, but rather we are to work in Christ and in each other. This is so crucial if any body of believers has hope to remain in fellowship. We must be able to allow ourselves to be easily perceived, as well as ready to reach out to those who are allowing themselves to be the same. If our brother mourns, mourn with him! If our sister rejoices, rejoice with her! Can a marriage last without communication between the spouses? Can siblings grow as family without apologies for wrong doings? The answer is no. Open communication with our brothers and sisters is of utmost importance if we seek to have a relationship with the saints around us. Why should we perceive each other as the family of God if we only treat one another as friends? In some cases, friends (whether in the world or not) can be found more open towards one another then the family of God is to those in it. Perhaps, this is because the family of God has forgotten another major attribute it needs to work as a united people: Trust.
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In the process of writing this, I took time to ask those around me (both saved and unsaved) what a family needs to work as a family should. I received much of the same answers: God, love, good attitudes, etc. But one person mentioned trust. I believe trust is not only important to the a family in general, it is crucial in any relationship that plans to stick through thick and thin. If there is not trust between a husband and wife, the crumbling of a marriage is around the corner. If a there is a lack of trust between siblings, you will soon find them spending more time with friends then family. Trust is so vital in a relationship, for if there is no trust, there is no openness of heart but rather fear of how open to be. So I gave trust some thought.
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:11:
but we are made manifest unto God; and I trust also are made manifest in your consciences.
As much as the apostles had confidence in their standings with God, they desired a good standing with the saints as well. Paul did not write with thoughts of mistrust towards the saints, as though some may think bad of him; he wrote to them believing the best and trusting in the relationship he had with them through Christ. This made it easier for him to be able to write letters of reproof to certain churches and letters of encouragement to others, and vise versa. For even those he wrote to reprove, he still referred to as and considered to be brothers. It would make sense then that Christ would command us to leave our offering at the altar and make amends with our brothers before we offer it to Him. (Matt. 5:23:24) He wants the family of God in order before anything else moves forward. But with different issues that arise in the family of God, there is a great need for trust. I speak of the ability to trust each other, that wether it is in edification or reproof, it is all said and done for the spiritual growth and betterment of our brothers and sisters.
To those who have something against another, there is much to be learned from scripture. In 2 Timothy 4:2 we read,
Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
Now before anything, let us remember that we ought to be in prayer without ceasing. So when the need to reprove a brother arises, prayer is a vital key to a good start. But notice what Paul commands us to do when we reprove or rebuke; we are to longsuffer and speak according to doctrine. I stand on the understanding that we must realize that our brothers might not agree with our every reproof, thus we need to have a heart of longsuffering. In the same sense, we must realize that criticism without an answer of how one might make amends is, in a practical sense, worthless. That is why it is key that when reproving a brother it must be done in doctrine. So when reproving a brother we must keep the scriptures as our center for the accusations we are bringing forward. Otherwise our reproving has no ground to stand on in terms of the family of God. This means that what we speak must be done for the growth of our relationship with our brother or sister we are at odds with. This means we should make time to seek the Lord as to what we say and what we should not say. This means for the sake of our brother or sister, we must make time to keep the unity in the family of God. But again, this brings me back to trust. In such situations as bringing an accusation to another, the amount of trust between the two can make a difference as to the outcome of the situation. If the hearer has no trust for the reprover, he will most likely receive the reproof with a heavy ear. That is to say: he won't listen! As well, if the reprover has no trust that the hearer will consider his words, he may not feel open to even share his concerns. In this, the brother who is possibly at fault won't ever know due to the lack of trust others have towards him. Although some could argue that the burden falls upon each man to be the first to show trust.
Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks. Isaac Watts
Here are some anagrams that may help me to explain what I'm trying to get at.
The trust the hearer has for the brother who has "ought against him;"
Timely
Reaction
Unites
Souls
Together
In this, I am referring to the fact that when confronted by a brother, it is best to give the subject some thought instead of being "quick to speak." In lending time to the matter, this reveals ones desire to search out such accusations. In doing this, the relationship between the two will strengthen for the spiritual growth of them both.
The trust the reprover has towards the brother he is reproving;
Thoughtful
Reproof
Ultimately
Seeks
Trust
In this, I am trying to drive home the fact that when a brother goes to another for the purpose of reproof, he should go with a heart that seeks the best for his brother, all the while proving to his brother he seeks nothing more. In doing so, the reprover will gain trust from the hearer and a greater bond in the relationship will arise.
The sad thing is that in most situations it is hard to deny ourselves when confronted. Our own image is at question, and it is hard to crucify the flesh. The flip side is that it is also hard to confront. The fear of being received as an enemy, and thus rejected, leaves most brothers silent in their concerns. Thus we have churches filled with people trying to fight their own battles instead of seeking help from their fellow brothers and sisters. All because the trust that should be evident in the spiritual family relationships is at a great loss in our midst. It is time that we begin the healing process and seek a deep restoration in our spiritual relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. It is time that we begin to trust. Trust that the family of God has only our best interest in mind.
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Perhaps one aspect of any man, woman, child or family that makes the greatest difference in their productivity is a simple goal. The wisest of the wise once wrote,
Where there is no vision, the people perish: Proverbs 29:18
If we never have something to work for, or look to, what purpose do we have at all? Perhaps with my next illustration the term "shoot for" would be the best example to use.
Imagine you are given a group of hockey players. You supply them with pads, helmets, hockey sticks and a puck. You place them on the ice rink and give the instruction to then play hockey. But in all that you provided, the one thing you did not give them was a simple metal frame with a net: also known as a goal. Before long the players realize their lack of a goal, and begin to question the purpose of even playing with the puck. You hear one call out, "Pass me the puck" and another ask, "What for?" If there is no goal for which the players are to shoot for, the question of why they are even on the ice with a hockey stick and puck would make complete sense to ask.
Now imagine you are beholding a group of people who are brought together in one place. They are given a Bible, spiritual armor, spiritual gifts, and a call to meet together. But as a group they have no goal for which to shoot for. Is it to hard to believe that some might not come or others might begin to question why they are even there if they have no goal to pursue? I believe Paul saw that such a goal needed to be clarified, and so he made sure to clear the matter up.
And He gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
Ephesians 4:11-13
That there is our purpose; our mark; our goal to shoot for. Gathering on sunday, praying together, breaking bread; such things are good but they are not the final product we are to press on towards. They are the "passing the puck" requirements for a well functioning body. But the unity of the faith, the knowledge of the Son of God for the purpose of becoming a perfect man as Christ was on earth; that is our goal and our mark for which we are call to press on towards. When we "pass the puck" (pray, teach, break bread, etc.) we do it for the purpose of unity. If we do it only because we are told to; and we find ourselves without a goal; then we should not be surprised to find some questioning their reason for teaching or praying or dare I say: gathering.
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A pharisee is hard on others and easy on himself, but a spiritual man is easy on others and hard on himself. A.W. Tozer
A lot of problems arise amidst friends, family, coworkers, and just about everyone else when one person thinks himself better then another. Such a sinful mindset was a very noticeable issue amongst the Pharisees. In reference to the Pharisees, Christ described them by saying they,
Love the uppermost rooms at the feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues, and greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi.
Matthew 23:6-7
With the exception of a few, the Pharisees enjoyed viewing themselves as the leaders of Israel. They enjoyed performing their "righteous" acts in public so as to be seen by men. But how does such an attitude point the world towards a closer relationship with the Father?
As always though Christ did not just take time to reveal the faults of the Pharisees without a purpose or goal. Only a few verses later we read:
But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. Matthew 23:11-12
Such a concept of being a servant to those you are to lead was not a concept the Pharisees had a grasp on. But to have the mindset of a servant and the attitude of viewing those around you as brothers and sisters instead of servants is of a huge importance in the family of God. What family can withstand the storms of life if the children think they rule each other? Now there is the aspect of maturity, and with maturity comes wisdom for those not yet at that level to gain from. But in the family of God we are to work as a team, as a unit. Brother to brother, hand in hand. If one thinks he needs not his brothers and sisters, or that by some "righteous act" he has been elevated to a higher place of spirituality then those around him, then he has been very much misguided.
For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
Romans 12:3, 10
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In all this, I believe that much of our mindset towards the family of God is determined by where our priorities lay. The greatest confusion I see though is that many seem to think that the physical family responsibilities are somehow separate from the spiritual family. As if when a man is called by God to do something, he has to find time aside from his family to fulfill it. I know of many missionaries who regret to this day that instead of sharing the calling of the Lord with their whole family, they shipped their kids off else where. Saints, if God commands a man to accomplish a task, He is calling that man's wife and children as well. But sadly men in the Church act as if they have to first deal with their families problems so that they can then go off and take care of their spiritual families issues. But as rough as it may be to bring up such a verse, I feel I must.
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:26
Am I saying that we must not love our physical family? No. And neither is Christ. But we are given a challenge: where do our priorities lay? If our love for Christ is greater then our love for our families, then we will be more apt to carry out the will of the Father. Am I saying that a man must deny his responsibilities as a father and husband? By no means. But his responsibilities were not given to him as a stumbling block in his obedience to his heavenly Father, nor in his role in the family of God. Ask yourself: Do I value my children more then the will of God? The answer can clear up a lot of things.
So if we are truly ready to work and live and carry on as the family of God, we must set our priorities straight. We must realize our need for each other. We must have a un-dividing love for all saints. We must realize that the family of God cannot work as a family until the members within view each other as family! We must learn to forbear with one another. Within each church we ought to seek the will of the Father for the spiritual growth of the body. All this is for the purpose that we all grow in the knowledge of Christ unto a perfect man. That in the process of it all we
May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Ephesians 3:18-19
I do not wish to step on any toes, but I desire to play what ever part I can in the body of Christ for the sake of my brothers and sisters who I have in the family of God. For I have gained much encouragement, edification and admonition from such, and to such I must perform the same as well. This is our duty towards one another in the family of God!
Brother Nathaniel
